How to pummel your fears and crush it your business
We are all afraid. Let’s just get that out there.
Our reptilian, limbic- brain still operates at full throttle, and our subconscious listens and protects us from danger.
Those fight/flight tendencies served us well when we were cave-people running away from saber tooth-tigers. We fought, or we fled.
Unfortunately, now we have couches and wine and Netflix.
So we still want and need security-and comfort. (Hello, couches.) And anything pushing us out of our comfort zone, we resist. Even when we are frustrated. It’s HARD to change.
So we stay put. We remain the same. A sea of sameness. A big vat of colorless paint; swabbed lazily on the world with an old rag and a brush you found in the garage.
Down in our deepest soul, we yearn for adventure.
So why do so many people stay put? Why do we all want and need change, and at the same time, resist?
I was at a conference, and a man spoke about going to Colorado for the first time. (I’d guess he was in his mid-thirties,) He was awestruck by the Rocky Mountains. He went on and on about how majestic and picturesque everything was.
I couldn’t fathom it. The speaker had never seen a mountain before!
By the time I was 17, I’d gone to most of the 50 states of the USA including Hawaii. By 25, I’d been to 30 countries in Europe, Turkey, Greece, and the Caribbean. I’d seen the Eiffel Tower, the Colosseum, and the Matterhorn.
But some people go their whole lives playing it safe, never leaving their town, state, or country.
And some of us play it safe with our business, too.
What you may not know; we are wired to stay just like we are. Even in the face of horrible circumstances or abuse. It’s called ‘status quo’ syndrome. You will put up with a ton of sameness and frustration because familiarity is more comfortable than change.
What you also may not know; you have an enormous capacity to adapt to new things.
What does that mean?
Once you DO change, you will quickly adapt to that new way of thinking, acting or doing. And fear of changing back will keep you stuck to your goals.
(Until you decide you are frustrated with your level again….and the process starts over)
So how do you crush your fears and get out of your pajamas? The key is to figure out how to accelerate the move from frustration to adaptation. Here’s how.
1.Find out what your fear really is.
You’re afraid, I get it.
But, WHY are you afraid. WHY do you want to stay in your yoga pants and never talk to clients or do Livestreams?
What is the deep fear?
Fear of failure/perfectionism
Fear of succeeding
Identify your fear, name it and call it out.
2. Name the biggest frustration in your business.
Is it lack of clients or cash flow? Are your prices too low? Are you tired of putting content out there and never getting noticed? Are you tired of never being seen as the authority in your niche?
Name the frustration and call it out.
3. Name what you want.
Sounds silly, but roll with me here a minute, what do you want? Really want? You have a big need, and it’s not money. One of the things we all want is to control our destiny. To have control over our lives. If your business is managing you, or you’re still in a 9-5, then you want to take back your power.
You might want recognition for your particular genius, (yes, you do have one!) or the feeling of fulfilling a mission.
You might want to embrace a change for other people and give your talents to change the world.
You might wish for financial freedom, or simply time to LIVE. Walk your dog, take up yoga. Maybe you want to learn a musical instrument or a language.
Or you might want to buy a home, send your kids to college, retire from your 9-5 and travel the world.
Whatever it is, call it out, name it. Write it down. Don’t second guess yourself if you’re worth it or worthy. You are. You deserve to have your dream. Name it, now.
4. Name what you do best.
What is your thing? The thing you would do FOR FREE and can hardly believe you get paid for?
When I was first starting to direct professional theatre, I couldn’t believe I was getting paid! I loved directing shows so much; bringing out the speaker, the performer, the actor in other people.
Coaching isn’t my work, it’s my calling. I was coaching when I was directing. I would do my job for free, (although I don’t have to and neither do you!)
Now you should have
Your fear 3. What you want
2. Your frustration 4. What you do best
You’ll address your fear with what you do best.
You’ll move past your frustration by envisioning what you want.
First address the fear with what you do best.
If your fear is embarrassment or imposter syndrome, use affirmations, journaling, support from a coach and community to remind you of your uniqueness. If your fear is about succeeding, you’ll actually have to help folks! So use your special zone of brilliance to tell yourself you can help your clients.
Fear contracts while serving expands. Remember, you’re helping them! They won’t get out of their problems without you. Nothing changes without the coach!
Next; envision what you want. More time? More Money? A better quality of life?
Use the frustration pain to propel you forward. What will it take to get you to your dreams? Adapting to change? More visibility? A more precise idea of where you are going? Identify what actions you’ll need to get there.
Give yourself a SMART goal.
Smart is an anacronym for
Your goal should be specific. You want 5 clients this month.
Measurable; how will you know? You’ll have 5 clients on your books!
Achievable; can you actually get 5 clients? If you have something to sell, yes.
Relevant; is this going to help your business?
If you decide to take up chicken sweater knitting as your goal, it’s specific and measurable...even achievable. Will it help your business? Probably not. It’s not relevant.
Timely; Is it within the next few weeks? Or 3 months? Or a year? It needs to be soon enough there is a sense of urgency around your goal.
Set your action plan in place.
What steps will it take to get to your goal? I want 5 new clients. My action steps might be:
Talk to 5 new people per day
Get more visible for 21 days in other facebook groups
Start a Facebook group
Go Livestream or do stories for 30 days.
What not to do? Blog, make lovely Insta posts, do busy work with systems, set up funnels or anything else that doesn’t connect with actual people.
Take your frustration and use your dreams to help you break free from the trap of sameness.
Take your fear and use your faith in yourself and your business to bypass the ‘flight’ reflex.
Set your smart goals. Know you have an immense capacity to adapt. And remember I believe in you.